For me, grass has always held a mystical power over me. When I was little, I threw a tantrum because I hated the was it felt between my toes. I hated that only in the grass, as I climbed a ladder to get into a pool, I got stung by a bee. Grass is unique. It is at once expansive to the point of being overlooked and at the same time it is minuscule in size and scope. We can see it as a large unit or take into account each individual blade and although I've such a tentative relationship with it, it's something that I can't and no longer want to escape. I am the grass. I am the field. I am the fairway. I am each and every blade of grass. I am every bug, worm and bit of dirt that sustains it.
I like to think of myself this way. I can be a big picture, a stereotype that you can see coming from a mile away or I can be that smallest grain of seen nestled down beneath your freshly mown lawn. I am bold and easily seen, but what's going on beneath the surface is hard to predict.
As I've grow so has my attachment to the grass where I will wiggle my toes and let each tendon grip the ground beneath the grass. I've grown to love the dew that glistens when I'm the first one on the golf course, only the chirping birds to keep me company as the dig for worms and tell each other secrets out loud. I grow to appreciate the clipping glued to my sweaty ankles on a steamy summer afternoon when I have other plans.
It has become so many things to me, so much so that it has even become me. I can't draw the lines between what I am as a person and all that is hidden within the grassy expanses. I can't make out the juxtaposition because it all one world to me. The idiosyncrasies and that which remains to be discovered is what I've become. I'm still discovering myself as I'm still discovering what grass means to me. It is my world and I am unavoidable.
I like the way this post connects your individual consciousness to that dichotomy of expansive/minuscule. We are somehow everything and nothing all at the same time, no?
ReplyDeleteThe evolution of your interest in/engagement with grass is very intriguing. I would be interested to see you explore it more. Personally, I identify with the post because my younger brother was fanatical about grass as a child. As a toddler he refused to touch it and would cry if forced to sit upon it. As a teen he mowed it obsessively, ensuring every blade was the same length. Nice.
Have you ever read "Big Grass," I think it's called, by Louise Erdrich? I think you may find some similarities between how you both view grass.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about how as children - my own daughters are like this currently - we find the feeling of grass beneath our feet as unpleasant, but as adults many of us come to revere the very idea of it.
ReplyDeleteMe, I'm more aligned with Michael Pollan, in his essay <"Why Mow? The Case Against Lawns." Though you've given me a lovely appreciation for them here :-)